To Catch a King
 by Thamiris

How do you seduce someone?

Hey, I know how it usually goes.  I've done it a thousand times: the flowers, the candy, the bad poetry, the lies ("Yep, off to fight a monster tomorrow. Could use a going-away present...") But this isn't a normal situation.

A better question is: how do you seduce the king of Corinth?  Especially when--unbelievably--he doesn't seem interested in a seduction by Autolycus, King of Thieves.

In fact, Iphicles looks almost annoyed--maybe because I'm just standing here gawking at him, doing my famous village-idiot impersonation.  I can't help it: he looks so much like Ares.  But a kinder, gentler, equally studly Ares--one who's not gonna turn me into dogfood because I make a crack about his bad attitude.

So when I walked into the king's private chambers a few minutes ago and saw the god's vulnerable twin staring at me, without the beard or bondage gear, I got a hard-on so big IT walked me over to him.

Iphicles was leaning casually back against the wall under a large window.  He rubbed the back of his neck under the neck of his plain brown tunic, like he'd been in meetings for days and was dead tired.  A young blond guy wearing a captain's uniform stood near him.  The king glanced over when I entered, and I saw faint shadows under his dark, god-eyes. One look at him and I realized why Ares wears the goatee: it makes him look wicked and bad-assed.  Without it, Iphicles looks...vulnerable.  Fuckable.  Like his lips are swollen from kissing or enthusiastic cock-sucking...

Now, then ten minutes, later, I realize that Iphicles doesn't seem to find me as fascinating as I find him.  No lingering eye contact, no light touches...Nothing.  It's like I'm Oingo, the two-headed ape-boy and he wants nothing to do with me.

I can't believe it.   Hell, I'm insulted!!  I'm a good-looking guy.  I keep in shape.  And now this uppity king won't give me the time of day.  Maybe I need to up the charm, flirt a little, in case he thinks I'm not interested.  But he's talking now.

"Are you sure you understand the assignment? You seem a little distracted."

Great. He thinks I'm a moron. "Yeah, yeah--break into the guy's room, see if I can find anything that connects him to Megara.  Piece of cake.  And maybe after that you and I could get to know each other better--nudge, nudge, wink, wink."  I lower my voice for the last part, so Celeus won't hear me, and twirl one end of my luxurious mustache.

Iphicles looks like I just suggested we dress up like chickens and fly out the window.  "I don't think so."

So he's playing hard-to-get.  I can do that.  Normally I wouldn't bother, but there's something exciting, cock-stiffening, about a guy who looks like Ares, but who won't blast me with lightening if he doesn't like the way I blow him.  Someone who might be a little grateful for some Auto-sex.  I just need to start a fire under his ass.  Hmmmm...

But Celeus is already escorting me to the door, his fingers digging into my arm.  "Just don't screw it up," he warns.  "I hope your brother knows what he's talking about," he adds to the king.

"Hey! Watch out!" I say sharply.  "Careful with the merchandise. And Hercules knows plenty.  He knows that I'm the highly-successful King of --" The door slams in my face.

Not an auspicious start.

***

I spend the rest of the day hanging around Dioclus, the guy Iphicles and Celeus think is a Megaran spy, and not just a fun-loving ambassador from Argos.  Whatever.  I don't really care-- politics give me a headache.  And if Dioclus is faking the party-hardy attitude, he should be on the stage in Aristophanes' The Frogs (the sequel to his wildly successful "Cats"). At dinner tonight, he consumes ten flagons of imported Gallic wine, half a boar's head, and several loaves of bread. He hits on the most voluptuous of the Roman dancers, a giggling redhead with enormous breasts, pulling her into his ample lap and promising to make her his chief concubine, while the king studies him with barely concealed disgust.

Iphicles, I gather, is not a party animal.  He hardly eats during the meal, talking quietly with the councillors siting around him.   At one point, Celeus says something amusing, and the king throws back his head, a booming laugh ringing out.  It's pure Ares, and I feel my cock twitch.  I try catching his eye, but he ignores me.  What's his problem?  Temporary blindness?  A terrible, dismembering accident with a threshing machine?

I ask a few questions to find out if the king's taken a vow of celibacy or something.  A few are more than happy to gossip about him, especially a juicy little number named Tithus.  Ever since Iphicles' wife died, he'd had a series of short, intense affairs with various people in and around the court.  They all seem to think that he'd had something going with Celeus, but that it's over now.   So why isn't he responding to me?  Am I losing my touch?  Is it possible?  Me?

Doesn't seem like it, if the hand practically jerking me off under the table means anything.  I pry off the young courtier's fingers, adjust myself, then go up to Dioclus' room to snoop.

I think about Iphicles while I root through the ambassador's messy stack of scrolls, feel under the mattress for hidden documents and empty his case looking for a sign that Dioclus was more than an affable Argosian diplomat.  I think about those full lips around my cock as I straddle him, about his ass tightening when I shove my cock inside him...But it doesn't look good, since he won't even talk to me, let alone bend over for me.  Damn.

After my unsuccessful search, I head back to my own room.  Since I'm supposed to be a diplomat myself, it's pretty nice.  Huge four-poster bed--perfect for king-fucking.  There's only one small problem...

Feeling weirdly dejected, I call for a bath.  When the tub's finally filled, I climb in, soaping myself in the hot water,  trying not to think about how horny I am.  It doesn't work, so I take my cock in hand.  It's a nice cock: thick and long.  That stupid Iphicles doesn't know what he's missing.  Ares himself has jerked it off--and I almost wish he was here to do it again. If only he wasn't so violent, so prone to respond to a little criticism with bolts of blue lightening.

I start to stroke myself, thinking of Iphicles.  I'll try him again tomorrow--maybe he was just having a bad day...Maybe he's dreaming about me right now...Yeah, I know it's sappy.  So sue me.  I just wanna cum and go to bed.  It's been a long week.  Maybe that's why that fucking king is having such an impact on me.  My hand starts to move faster, and I can feel the familiar tightening in my balls when there's  a light rapping at the door.  Figures. "I'm still in the tub," I call out, figuring it's an over-eager servant.

The knock comes again.  Annoyed, I climb from the tub, grabbing a towel, and march to the door. "Are you deaf or something? I'm not fini--"

It's Iphicles.  He's wearing only a loose white shirt and dark pants--the crown and mantle are gone, and his feet are bare.  He looks as casual as incredibly gorgeous royalty can.  He says nothing.

"Uh...Your highness...I wasn't expecting you.  How can I help you?  What do you want?"  I babble, not sure if I'm reading this visit right.

"You," he says simply, and walks into my room, kicking the door shut behind him.

"What?"  I can't believe it, and it kinda strangles my wittiness.

"I want you," he repeats patiently, voice soft.  He seems hesitant, unsure of himself, which is turning me on in a serious way.

He wants me to make a move.  One quick step and my arms are around him, my tongue in his mouth.  He tastes incredible: the sweet wine from dinner, honey and cinnamon from dessert...No one should taste that good.  It gives a guy ideas.

He's so pliant, too, leaning against me, letting me run my hands over his body, allowing me to pull his shirt off, then his pants, to push him back on the bed.  I think it's because he's always in a position of power as king during the day--at night, he just wants to be taken, to be forced to forget his obligations.

The combination of his size and his willingness to be dominated is making me lose control--which I never do.  I'm almost rough with him, as I act out part A of my fantasy: straddling him, and sliding my cock into his willing mouth.  He begins to suck me eagerly, like he's been waiting months for this.  His tongue...it circles the head of my cock, slides into the slit.  With one hand, he strokes my balls, lightly rolling them, while the other reaches up to rub one of my nipples.

I bury my fingers into those red-gold curls and fuck his smooth, wet mouth, moving his head back and forth over my cock while he reaches behind me to grab my ass, forcing me in even deeper.

Part of me can't believe this is happening, that Iphicles is caressing the underside of my cock with his tongue, that he's groaning deep in his throat because he's getting off on it. I hold his head tighter, wanting to see if he'll stop me because I'm nearly choking him.  He doesn't, just keeps sucking...His cock presses up against my stomach and I rub against it, but don't touch it with my hands.  I even push him down when he tries to thrust against me.  He lets me.

That delicious compliance is too much, and I cum in his mouth, shuddering, while he swallows and swallows.

I climb off that hard chest, and lie beside him, tired but still horny.  "Jerk off for me," I say.  I know I'm pushing my luck--that Iphicles is going to snap out of it and call for the guards.  And I'm gonna find out what happens to impudent thieves who have the balls to order kings to spank the monkey just so they can watch.

But that's not what happens.  Iphicles' big hand closes around his erection and starts to move up and down.  He turns to look at me, and I sense that he's embarrassed, but I won't let him stop.  His breathing quickens, and his eyes close for a second.

"Keep them open."

His pupils are rimmed with a band of amber, reminding me of a ring I stole from the king of Chalcis, a gift from Hephaestos to Aphrodite, or so the legend goes. I sold it for a thousand gold pieces.  Iphicles' skin is the color of the coins.

"Cum for me," I whisper into his ear. "Cum for me."

He groans, and I feel his muscles tighten, then he's spurting semen onto his chest.  When he finally stops, never taking those amber eyes off me, I tell him to rub the sticky fluid onto my cock. Iphicles obeys me, and I lie there letting the king of Corinth coat my hard-on with his cum.

"You know I'm going to fuck you, right?"

He nods.  "I want you to."

When I'm dripping, he gets on his hands and knees, offering me a truly gorgeous ass.  I put the head of my cock against the ring of flesh, and start to push.  He's so tight I can barely get in--he's obviously not used to this.  I push harder, and suddenly I'm deep inside him.  Iphicles gasps, and so do I, as he tenses from the unexpected pressure.

"Relax," I tell him.  He does.

I slowly begin to fuck him with long, steady strokes, and he holds onto the headboard for support.  He's beginning to pant, and I can see the drops of moisture form on the smooth surface of his back, and I lick them off as quickly as they appear.

"Do it harder," he says suddenly, voice harsh with desire.

I do.  Pulling my cock to the edge of his ass, I pause, then plunge in, making him cry out.  I don't stop, ramming myself into him over and over while he pushes back against me.  I want to feel his cock, so I reach in front, down between his thighs, and grab it. He's hard as a rock.  This makes me crazy with lust, and I pound into him and roughly squeeze his cock at the same time.

My heart is beating like rocking waves against the side of a boat and I hear a roar like thunder in my ears.  With a shout, I burst inside that contracting ass just as Iphicles' cock starts to pulse in my hand.  I cover the leaking head, letting his hot seed spill into my palm, then I hold it up to his lips while I stay inside him, waiting for my own throbbing to subside.  His tongue glides over my fingers as he laps up his juices, and I wish I could get hard again because I'm still not satisfied.

Eventually--and reluctantly--I take my cock out and collapse on the rumpled sheets.  He flips over to lie beside me, moving my arm so that it curls around him.

"That was incredible," he mumbles, yawning.  "Fucking incredible."

"Yeah, it wasn't bad."  I won't admit how good it was.  I'm still enjoying the power he's letting me have.  But he's right: it was fucking incredible.  Being in charge like that...It's not like I'm a doormat in bed or anything.  Only the last guy I fucked was Ares.  Afterward, I had bruises all over my body,  a scar on my shoulder from his teeth, and my nerves were shot for months because I spent the whole time worrying that he was gonna barbeque my ass just to hear me scream.  Not to mention that the bastard fucked me on a table in the middle of a bar.  People still yell mean things after me when I'm forced by circumstance back into Tegea...

I fell asleep stroking Iphicles' soft hair...

***

He's gone when I wake up the next day.  But in the early morning sunlight, I can see the imprint his head made on the pillow, so I know it wasn't a dream.  I'd had amazing sex with the king of Corinth.  And I intend to get me some more today.

While I'm getting dressed, I think about him sucking my cock in some dark corner of the palace, while his councillors' footsteps draw closer...Who knew I was an exhibitionist?  Apparently it's sexy when you're in control.  I begin to understand why Ares got off fucking me in front of all of those people...I'd love to fuck Iphicles in front of his court, seeing everyone's horny faces as I sink my cock into his ass.  Oh yeah.

I'm supposed to meet with him and the elite of his council to report what I've found in Dioclus' room.  We hadn't even talked about it last night--it was like all he could think about was being fucked by me.  Hell, it was all I could think about it...It's all I can think about right now.  I'm like a kid at the winter solstice--and he's my present.

I'm not in love with him or anything.  Ha! I just met the guy.  And Autolycus, King of Thieves, does not fall in love at first sight. I don't fall in love period.  I'm just hot for an unbelievably sexy guy.  That's it.

I maneuver my leather pants over my erection.  Love!  Right.  I just want to see my cock slide past those full lips, hear him moan as I shove myself inside him...That's the only reason I'm excited about seeing him this morning.

How is he going to act when he sees me?  With his advisors around him, he'll have to be discreet.  But I know what will happen after this meeting: Iphicles will ask them to leave, and then he'll look at me like he did last night...with naked lust...Shit! I don't think I've ever been this horny in my life.

This isn't running, what I'm doing right now.  I'm just walking quickly, because a servant has  told me that the king is waiting.  Just walking quickly, the heels of my boots clacking on the polished marble floor.  I pause for a moment, brushing down my hair, smoothing my fresh white shirt, and curling the ends of my mustache.  Then I march forward, and announce myself to the armed sentries guarding the door to the council chamber.  Impassively, the two men part to let me through.

Four men are gathered at a round table: Iphicles; Celeus; his steward Minyas; and Otus, another war-councillor.

"Autolycus," Celeus says shortly.

I really don't like that blond little snot.

"Celeus," I reply equally cooly.  "Your highness."  My tone changes. I can't help it.

Iphicles looks at me, but I can't read his expression.  He obviously wants to keep this professional, impersonal.  I expected that.  It's ok.  It's not like I'm disappointed or anything.

Celeus taps his foot impatiently.  "So what did you find?"

"Nothing.  The guy's clean."

"Are you sure?" Otus asks.

"Look, if I say he's clean, he's clean. I searched everywhere.  It's possible, though, that if he's got any incriminating documents he keeps them with him at all times."  I focus on Otus' clear grey eyes, noting that they match his hair.  I can't look at Iphicles--my palms start to sweat.  He must be feeling the tension, too.

Celeus, that whiny little prick, jumps in.  "Is there any way you could search him?  Or is that too hard, even for the King of Thieves?"

"I can do it no problem, if that's what you want, your highness."  I turn to the king.

He nods.  "You can leave now," he adds, dismissing us.

I make sure I'm the last to go.  I know he'll stop me.  And he does.

"Just a minute, Autolycus," Iphicles says quietly.

"Yes?"  I want to make him sweat a little.

He looks uncomfortable--it's so hard for him to admit that he wants me.  An unfortunate trait, but with a little prompting...

I'm about to step toward him when he speaks.  "I want you to keep this between us."

What does he think?  That I've got a big mouth?  Ok, I do have a big mouth, but I can be as discreet as the next guy.  "Of course.  Anything you want."  I walk back to the council table, and boost myself up on it, spreading my legs suggestively.  "And I mean anything."

"Good.  I'm glad I can trust you.  Hercules assured me that you're the best.  It's just hard for me to admit that I don't trust my own men.  But I don't want you telling anyone if you find anything on Dioclus, unless I order you otherwise.  Got that?"

Whoaaaah--not what I expected at all.  Where's the ‘The sex last night changed my life?  I'm ready to give up my kingdom for your cock'?  I'm not amused.  "Ok, if that's what you what."  I'm about to suggest that we get down to the real business when he jerks his head toward the door.

"You can leave now. I have work to do."

"But--"

"I'm busy, Autolycus."

"Later," I say, grinning.  He ignores me.

Fine. I can take a hint--but I don't believe this guy!  Last night he was begging for it; today he treats me like some...some cheap one-night stand!  That bastard! How dare he use me like that. I thought I was using him.

Fuming, I stalk down the palace hallway.  I'll check out Dioclus tonight, then I'm outta here.  There are plenty of people who'd be grateful for any small scrap I'd toss them.  I don't need some...some high-and-mighty king who just wanted to get his rocks off!  Who in Hades does he think he is? I'm the King of Thieves, dammit! No one treats me like this!

***

I spend the day thinking up ways to pay him back for the way he's treated me--especially when he continues to ignore me at dinner, just talking and laughing with his buddies.  Like I'm offending his kingly sight. Like he'd rather forget the whole thing happened.  I'm so pissed that I decide to go to bed early; I'll take care of Dioclus tomorrow, then get the hell out of Corinth.

As I lie between the silk sheets, still pissed, there's another knock at the door.  It's Iphicles.  He walks in, shutting the door behind him.  "What do you want?" I snarl.

He holds out several long pieces of white silk.  "I want you to tie me up."

"You want me to what?"  I can't believe it.  The guy ignores me all day, then he wants me to tie him up.  Unfuckingbelievable.  Unfuckingbelievably hot.  But he's not getting away with it this easily.  "Why'd you ignore me all day?"

He stares at me, all wounded pouty lips and big amber eyes.  "I had to.  What was I gonna to do? I want to keep this relationship a secret.  I knew that if I talked to you, it'd be obvious that you and I are fucking."

"Obvious how?" I know what he means, but he's gotta say it.  My ego needs boosting after the crushing blow it faced today.

"Obvious because I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you.  Obvious because I wouldn't be paying attention to anything you said--just staring at you and thinking about your cock inside me, about how you fucked me last night, about how you let me suck you and how hot you made me..."  He trails off, licking his lips, eyes half-closed as he remembers.

"Yeah--you're right.  It would be obvious."

"And I need to do it again.  I haven't stopped thinking about us."

I take the silk strips from him.  "And you want me to tie you up?"  I sound so casual, but my cock is ready to burst through the leather.

He looks down for a second at the tiled floor, then right at me, defiant.  "Yes.  But if you don't want to--that's ok.  It's not like I do this all the time. It's not like I've ever... This is new for me."  He dares me to say something.

I let him continue.  I like watching this stud squirm for me.

"There's something about you.  Unlike everyone else, you're not afraid of me.  I mean, I know you're aware of my power, but you've got this arrogance that lets you say and do things no one else will."

"I'm still not sure I get it."

"You don't have to get it.  You just have to do it."

When I hesitate, he makes an impatient sound and heads toward the door, embarrassed and annoyed.   It's a sexy combination.  When he turns to look at me one last time, I move in front of him, and push him back against the hard wood.  "I'll do it," I say, putting my palm flat against the door above his head.  Then I kiss him, dropping the silk pieces to my feet, leaning into his body, untucking his shirt to slide my hands along his firm stomach and up to his nipples.  Flicking them with my thumbs, I grind my cock into his, pushing my tongue deeper into his mouth.

Iphicles is almost clinging to me now, while he sucks my tongue.  I feel this intense surge of desire, and the now-familiar need to see how far he'll let me push him.

Pulling back, I order the king to strip.  Obediently, he reaches down, taking the edges of the white shirt in his hands, then raises it over his head.  He drops the shirt to the floor, while I study his chest, looking at his tight brown nipples, thinking about how I'll bite them when he's tied up on the bed.  The aggressive image makes me a little uncomfortable--but I get over it because my cock is practically talking to me, begging me to fuck Iphicles right now.  Down, boy.

This requires patience--the one quality a thief knows best. Even though he's giving me control, in some strange way he's controlling me, forcing me to give him pleasure.  And I want to. Do I ever want to.  I try not to drool.  "Take off everything."

Iphicles hooks his thumbs into the waist of his black pants, lowering them slowly over his hips.  He has to reach in and tug out his cock; his erection's in the way.  Free, it sticks straight up, begging for my tongue. By the gods--it's a monster.

He's sliding his pants over those hard thighs, down his long legs to his ankles.  Then he kicks them off.  Sweet grandma of Ares--this guy has the most incredible body I've ever seen!  I was moving so fast last night I didn't stop to appreciate it.  But that's my plan for tonight: to appreciate that amazing body.

"Get on the bed.  On your back."  I barely recognize the gravelly voice as my own.  I'm so hot for him it's changing the way I sound.  By the end of the night I'll sound like Cerberus.

Watching his ass as he walks to the bed, I'm fascinated by the rhythm of muscle and flesh.  It's a crime to cover it: his skin's bronze and so ripe and...I'm glad when he lies down, because I'm ready to write a poem to his ass.

Scooping up the silk pieces, I test their strength.  They're not going to work--not when the guy's got muscles like that. I need something stronger.  "Hold on," I tell him, and kneel in front of  the chest where I've stored the bag with my tools.  I pull out a few ropes made from an imported fiber: they're thin, but strong enough to support my weight when I'm scaling a wall.  Perfect for tying the big guy down.

I close the coffer and walk back toward him.  He's sprawled on the white sheets, arms extended over his head, thighs slightly parted, waiting for me.  His hair, fanned out against the pillow, is the color of  the copper wire I use to pick locks.  Wow.  I can't wait to get naked and rub my cock all over him.  But first things first...

As I kneel between his legs, I'm glad my clothes are still on.  Otherwise I'd be too tempted to let him blow me--my cock is level with his mouth, and he's brushing one smooth cheek against it while I bind his left wrist to one of the bedposts, then the right.

I climb off the bed to survey my handiwork.  The position stretches his arms, forcing the muscles into sinuous, adamantine curves... (What? Where the hell did that come from?  I'm not even sure what "adamantine" means...But it seems appropriate so just let it go).

Iphicles is testing the restraints as I take my clothes off.  "Changed your mind?" I ask.  Pleasesaynopleasesayno.

He shakes his head.  "No."

Thank the gods.

"I want this.  Can't you tell how much?  Touch my cock and see."

He grins at me, and I laugh.  "Nice try.  But I thought I'd tease you for a few hours first."  Inspiration hits: I go back to the chest, and remove a small blue jar. It's just a bit of olive oil, some lemon juice, a dash of red wine and a few finely crushed pears. I use it to lubricate old locks, among other things.  Iphicles is about to become one of those other things.

Back between his thighs, I dribble some of the liquid on his chest, down his arms.  The smell of fermented pears fills the room.

"Nice," he says.

I reseal the bottle carefully and drop it beside him.  "Oh yeah..."  I dip my thumb in the trickle oozing over his right bicep and slide it into his mouth. Iphicles start to suck, his tongue cleaning my skin, flicking across the tip, over the nail.  He watches me as he does it.  We're both wishing it was my cock.

When my thumb's wet, I pull it from his lips and dip it again in the fruity mixture.  This time, though, I rub it into his left nipple, back and forth until he moans.  The tan skin gets tighter, gleaming with the juice.

"Suck it," he orders me.

"Sorry, your highness--but this is my show."

"What if I change my mind? What if I want to be in control?"

"You can't.  It's too late now."

Iphicles groans and struggles against the restraints.  I push him back.  "Relax.  You're not going anywhere."

"At least kiss me.  You can do that, can't you?  One deep, long kiss?"  His lips open slightly, and his pink tongue snakes out, moistening them.  He tries to lean forward, and his arms tighten.  "Just a kiss..."

Now I know how Odysseus felt when he heard the Sirens' call and nearly sailed into those rocks.  Fuck.  Talk about temptation.  And the Sirens were ugly hags, if you got close enough--I've got Iphicles looking up at me, dripping with pear wine, cock throbbing against his stomach, muscular arms bound above his head.  I'm just not strong enough...

I bend to kiss him, then pull away just before our lips meet.  "No--If Odysseus can do it, so can I."

Iphicles lets out a low growl. It rumbles through his body, through mine.  But his cock jerks at the teasing.  He wants me to play with him, wants me to stay in control.  Even if he hates it, too.  And it's not just him.  I love it. I love how helpless he looks tied up on the bed, when he's so powerful in every other way.  I want to make him desperate for me.  I want him begging, screaming for me to fuck him.  I want him out of control.

I dampen my other thumb in the sticky liquid, this time running it over his lips.  He licks it off as fast as I smear it on. The head of his cock presses against my stomach as I lean over him, and he raises his hips.  With one hand against his chest, I push the king back down.  His heart beats under my palm.   "Do that again and I'll walk outta here.  Maybe go for a stroll in the garden, grab some food, see a play..."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Sure I would.  Why not?  Or maybe I can find Tithus, that cute little courtier from last night--he was feeling me up under the table last night and  I'm sure he'd love to finish the job."  Right.  Like some kid, no matter how attractive, could satisfy what Iphicles has started.  But I figure I'd try the jealousy button.

"Tithus?  You want Tithus when you could have me?  You bastard!"  He strains so hard on the ropes that the solid oak bed creaks.  "Untie me, Auto, and I'll make you forget that little prick!"

Apparently, the jealousy button works.  Good.  Think I'll push it again, harder this time.  "He had very practiced fingers," I say.  "Mmmmm...Maybe I'll invite him in here, and you can watch him blow me."

"No fucking way!"  He's getting angry.  "You're here to fuck me--no one else!  And definitely not that pathetic excuse for a--"

I lean down and take his nipple in my mouth.  He bucks so hard the bed shakes.  I lick the puckered skin until he's trembling.

"You don't really want him, do you?"

I sit up, firmly smoothing more of the liquid onto his shoulders with my fingertips.  "Is that a problem?" I ask innocently.  I haven't had this much fun since...Ares fucked me in the bar. And this is a lot better! I'm in control.

"That feels good," he says, eyes closing under the pressure.  "And yes, it is a problem.  I'm not into sharing."

"You sound possessive."

"Is *that* a problem?"

I say no just before I kiss him.  Don't get your hopes up: it's a quick kiss, but his mouth opens, and for a second our tongues touch.  Then I draw back, only to start licking the sweet pear taste from his skin.  My hands rest on his shoulders, and I let our cocks brush.  His head falls back, while his whole body rises.  I start biting him.  Not too hard, but not too lightly either: his throat, his nipples, his stomach, his inner thighs, behind his knees...

Iphicles is panting now, rhythmically rocking like he's already in my mouth.  When I stroke the dark hair covering his thighs, hands just inches from his throbbing cock,  he pleads with me to suck it, to close my fingers around it.

"Please, Autolycus...Anything.  Just a quick touch.  Just take my cock in your mouth for a second.  You don't have to make me cum yet--just let me feel your lips around it."  His voice is low, desperate-sounding.

I move my head closer.  The base of his cock and the dark, coppery hair are damp from the pear-juice.  I scratch him there, never quite making contact with his erection--just working my fingers in the sensitive skin beneath the sticky hair.  He's chanting "suckitsuckitsuckit" above me, but I'm not ready.  I want to look at his cock.  It's surprisingly smooth, only a few violaceus lines, rivers for my tongue's exploration...

Uh oh--I'm getting poetic again.  But if you saw this cock, you'd understand.  It was a fucking work of art. I gotta pay tribute--so I lick the salty bead of liquid about to spill from it.

He shudders at my tongue, thrusting up so sharply that his cock slides into my mouth, scraping against my front teeth.  I hold it there, finally tasting him, savoring that delicious cock--then pull back abruptly.  While I want to suck him more than anything, he's not in control here.

"Do that again, and we'll see what your court has to say about your choice of sexual practice and partner," I warn him.  "I don't think they'd be too impressed when they saw what and who their king does for kicks."

"You wouldn't."

"Why not? What do I care? I've got nothing to lose here.  You do.  So just lie back and let me be in charge."  For emphasis, I pinch one of his nipples until he yelps in pain.

"I could kill you for that," he tells me darkly.

"Not right now, you couldn't.  You're tied up, remember? And when I let you go, you'll have cum so many times this little bit of torture won't seem important."  Not surprisingly, that shuts him up.  "Good--you're learning.  Now here's a reward."  I lie down between his legs, and start lapping at  his balls.  While I'm doing this, feeling his thighs tense around me, I wet my finger in the pear-juice, then trace a line from just under the heavy sac to the tight ring of flesh, easing in just the tip.

Iphicles clenches his muscles, then relaxes them, and I slide the finger deeper, moving it in widening circles, while I take his balls in my mouth.  I can taste the fruity liquid that's dribbled onto them, but underneath--him.  Tangy, salty, like the ocean in the summer.  I have to suck his cock again, get more of it.

Covering the source with my tongue, I grasp him firmly and start stroking to make him produce it for me.  I hear him calling my name, feel those blue veins pulse and I catch the drops that spill from the thick head of his cock.  He's so close now--a few more seconds and my mouth will be full...His thighs are clamping around me, as I fuck his ass with my finger and eat that incredible cock.

When I feel the surge begin under his taut skin, I stop.  I'm surprised no one bursts in when he lets out a thunderous shout of frustration.  "I can't let you cum now," I inform him.  "What's the point of tying you up if I'm going to do that?"  I raise my head to look at him.  He's flushed, curls sticking damply to his face, and his eyes...Instead of amber, they seem almost black, glowing with rage.

A really, really scary thought occurs to me.

This gorgeous guy tied up in my bed, whose eyes seemed to have changed from amber to black, who's really pissed in a eerily distinctive and familiar way--he couldn't be...No.  That's crazy.  It doesn't make any sense.  It's not possible...Why would Ares borrow Iphicles' body to fuck me?

While he's glaring down at me, I think about everything he's said tonight, about wanting to give up control for once, about how everyone's afraid of him....It could fit the god as much as it does the king...But I can't be right.  If this is Ares, that means he could've broken through those ropes whenever he wanted.  That he's deliberately letting me tease him.  That he could kill me at any time...

I swallow the terror.  He's not going to kill me...I don't think.  He would've done it already.  Ares isn't known for his patience....That's why this guy can't be the god of war.  The god of war is not going to let me dominate him for two days, let me force my cock into his mouth like I did last night, let me fuck him like I did last night, let me tie him up...Is he?

"I'm waiting!" he yells.

Ok.  Think fast.  I have a few choices here.  I can confront him: "Ah ha! You're Ares, god of war, aren't you?"  No.  Bad idea.  Ok, I could blow right now, like he's demanding, even though I want to tease him some more, even though I think that deep down he wants me to tease him some more, even though I think that he wants me to fuck him.  But it would get him out of here.  Or third choice: I could pretend that nothing had changed, and keep teasing the god in my bed to see how far I can really go.  My cock jumps at this one.  Number three it is.

"You'll keep waiting," I tell him, running my fingers along his inner thighs, "until you're ready to beg even more."  Just the idea that I could be saying those words to Ares stiffens my cock, makes my palms sweat.

I stand, one foot on either side of Iphicles' hips...Ares' hips.  I guide my erection to his mouth.  When we make contact, his lips part, and his tongue wraps around the head of my cock.  Like he's been waiting for it.  I let him do it for awhile, watching him, allowing the soft, warm mouth and pink tongue to turn me into a quivering mass of goo.  Then, grabbing his damp curls harder than I need to, I shove my cock deep in his throat.

He looks up at me as he swallows the length, eyes amber again.  Maybe I hallucinated the whole thing.  Ares wouldn't be sucking my cock this eagerly, wouldn't be moaning faintly like it was really turning him on to be practically forced to suck it...I can feel the vibration from his moans in my balls and I'm ready to cum...So I pull out.

"Fuck me now," he commands.

"Are you begging?"

There's a long pause, during which I drop down and take his huge cock in my mouth, moving up and down over it while my tongue caresses the shaft.

The tone changes, more Iphicles than Ares. "Yes, I'm begging.  I'm begging...Ohohyes...Please fuck me."

I give one last lick, then sit up, grabbing the small blue bottle beside him.  I pour some of the oily liquid into my hands, then spread it on my cock.  The blood courses under my skin...Closing the jar quickly, I toss it aside, then reach down between his thighs, under his cock, and smear him with the sweet juice.  Then I push his legs up, putting them over my shoulders, and ram my cock inside him.

"Yes," he says.  "Fuck me."

At first, I can barely move--enveloped in that tight heat, maybe that divine tight heat...

Digging my fingers dig into his shoulders, I finally start to react.  Every time I thrust into him, I force his cock against my stomach--it feels like I'm fucking him twice.  He feels it, too--thrashing under me, muscles in his arms pulled so tight he's gotta be in pain...If this is Ares, I'm impressed.  He must be dying to rip off those ropes, throw me over and fuck me, or at least to grab me and make me move faster, while I jerk him off...

The possibility that he could do that if he wanted is like a bolt of lightening to my cock: I start pounding into him, harder and deeper than I've ever fucked anybody.  Sweat is pouring off me, dripping onto him, running down his chest, mingling with his own. I lap up the drops trickling down his smooth cheek, along his chin...

"Kiss me, you bastard!"  he groans.

As soon as my tongue's in his mouth, he starts to shudder, and his semen shoots onto me.  When I feel it, feel his ass close around my cock, I cum, too--finally--blast after blast of pleasure so intense the world goes black.

When I can move again, when I've finally stopped cumming, I untangle myself from him.

He looks at me through half-closed eyes, speaking through swollen lips. "You can untie me now."

I shake my head.  "Don't you remember?  I told you that I was gonna make you cum so many times you'd forget the torture."  Stretching my sore muscles, I lie again between his legs, and catch the semen still leaking from his cock with my tongue.

I make him cum in my mouth. Still, I won't untie him.  Only when he cums a third time do I let him go.  He collapses on the bed and sleeps for hours.  I watch him, too confused and turned on by the possibility that he could be Ares to sleep.  I wake him at dawn.

"Don't forget to keep quiet about this," he mumbles, staggering to the door.  "And try to understand when I don't acknowledge us in public.  I'll be back again, after the hunt."  He kisses me quickly, then leaves.

Grabbing the pillow he'd used, I put it under my head, and breathe deeply.  Whoever he is, he smells damn good.

***

I dream of Ares.

He's fucking me on this bed, so hard that the posts smash against the wall and plaster goes flying, as he pounds into me in a rhythmic, ecstatic, relentless bang, bang, bang....

Bang, bang, bang.

"Shut the fuck up!" I yell, pulling a pillow over my head. "I'm trying to sleep in here!"  I didn't even get to cum...I hate that.

"It's your breakfast," comes an insistent, vaguely female voice through the door.  "It's getting cold.  Now get up out of bed--it's a beautiful day.  You don't want to waste it lazing about!"

"Oh, for the love of Zeus..." I crawl from under the sleep-warmed covers, wrapping the sheet around me, and stumble to the door.  Opening it, I do a double-take, shading my eyes from the horrific site.  The woman has the face of a Gorgon after a week-long binge at a Thessalian wine- festival.

"Finally, Mr. Sleepy-head gets up.  I've been knocking for ages."  She peers into the room, tiny pig-eyes glowing with interest, snout sniffing the air for a whiff of scandal. "I've only brought breakfast for one," she said pointedly.

How can she tell I've been with someone? Maybe I was moaning in my sleep...Nosy bitch. I grab the tray from her gnarled paws and slam the door in her face.  Ha! Serves her right for waking me from that dream...Carefully balancing the food, I place it to a small table under the window looking out over the orchard to the river below.  Munching on some toast, letting the fresh air revive me, I think about last night.

I need to know if this guy coming to my room is Ares or not.  If it's Iphicles, there's no problem.  He's hot; he's beautiful; he wants to be dominated.  I can live with that.  If it's Ares, however-- what does he want?  Does he also want to give up control, like he says? To take a break from the rigors of his office to be fucked senseless? It's a pretty sexy idea.  A very sexy idea.  My treacherous cock does a little jig. But what if this is just another part of some devious revenge- scheme?

But that didn't really make sense...I'm having a great time with him.  I'm loving it--the sex is incredible.  Hmmmm...Maybe that's his plan.  To make me fall in love with him, then to humiliate me. Not that I'm falling in love with him, of course.  I've already said that. I'm not.  But he could want me to...

I shovel some more bacon into my mouth, licking the grease from my fingers.  This speculation's getting me nowhere.  Besides, the answer's easy enough to find.  I confront Iphicles.  If he says, "Have sex with you? Why the fuck would I have sex with you, you conceited prick?" then I know he's not the one who keeps showing up in my bedroom.  If he gives me one of those soulful looks and says, "Take me, you big, handsome brute," I'll know he's my man.

I'm going to bathe, then I'm off to the hunt.  I'll get Iphicles alone, and put the ol' Auto moves on him.  Then I'll finally know for sure just whose cock I've been sucking and fucking.

Another little jig in my pants, but I ignore it.  There's work to be done.

***

The hunt's scheduled for midday, so, dressed in my tightest leather pants, a very flattering royal blue shirt, with a bow slung over my back, I head out to the stables.  A burly groom looks up from the saddle he's polishing to inform me that the party has gone ahead because clouds are gathering and they want to enjoy the hunt before the rain starts.

"Buncha sissies," I say, and he winks.  My horse is already saddled and I jump up, riding off in the direction of the piercing horns I now hear blowing.  I pass the lemon grove that I saw from my window, soon coming into a green, open field.  Iphicles is ahead; his hair gleams in the watery sun.  Not surprisingly, he's surrounded by courtiers as they follow the baying hounds.  I don't even know what they're chasing: a pig? A rabbit? Some dumb bird?  I hate hunting.

Spurring my horse, I  ride closer, loudly singing a bawdy little ditty I learned from a one-eyed Gallic sailor.  I want the king to notice me.  If I've been fucking Iphicles, he's getting obsessed enough with me that he'll risk a private meeting.  At this point, I'm hoping it is the king...I'd love to fuck him outside, against a tree, on the wet ground...hear him moan without walls to contain the sound...

The pommel of the saddle is rubbing deliciously against my cock as I bounce up and down, and my cock's getting hard enough that the hunters could use it to club whatever defenseless animal they're slaughtering for kicks.  (I know that sounds sick.  I tend to babble when I'm nervous.)

I'm nearly at Iphicles....I can see the gold chain at his neck holding his burgundy cloak closed; it glints in the disappearing light.  He's riding an enormous black stallion, once again reminding me of Ares--there's the same assurance, the same authority, the same taste in horses...

I stop singing just as I'm getting to the part about the three Athenian hookers, the old man, and the sheep.  Even I can be discreet once in a while.   "Hi!" I shout, waving.  Ok, so subtlety isn't my strong suit.

The king glances over and nods a greeting, then turns back to his chief advisor.  Celeus ignores me.  One of these days I'm gonna teach that blond little bastard some manners... So what's with the nod? Shit. I can't read it--but then it's pretty hard to give a nod that says, "Hi, Autolycus.  Yes, it was me you were fucking last night and the night before, not Ares.  I'm the one who's hot for you, who can't get enough of your magnificent cock, your incredibly talented tongue, you handsome devil..."  It's too much to expect from a nod.  But it would've been nice...

I canter over to plump Dioclus, the supposed spy.  May as well get some business in here while I'm at it.  Gotta earn those royal dinars. Heheheheh...Like I haven't already...Besides, I need to kill some time before they find whatever poor animal they're hunting--because that's when I'll attack.  "So, Dioclus, my good man, what do you think of Corinth?"

His bright blue eyes light up.  "It's a splendid city, splendid! The food is divine, the entertainment perfection, and the king---the Corinthians couldn't ask for a better ruler.  So fair, so generous, so handsome..." He rambles on enthusiastically.

If this guy's a spy, I'm Aphrodite.  But I need to check him out, make sure he's not concealing any secret documents under his elaborate silk hunting jacket.  "Don't move!" I suddenly hiss at him, and he freezes, bridle dropping from his hands.  "A deadly Corinthian badger-bug is crawling on your shoulder.  Stay very, very still...One sudden move, and it'll bite.  And the sting makes you impotent for life."  That distracts him, and he's only too eager to let me lean over and frisk him.

Nothing.  Someone else is spying for the Megarans.  Good.  It gives me an excuse to talk alone with the king.

As poor, traumatized Dioclus rides back to the palace, muttering a prayer of thanks to Aphrodite for his saved manhood, the men at the head of the group begin to shout.  They've spotted the animal, and the party takes off in hot pursuit of Bambi, speeding down to the river's edge, horses kicking up clumps of dirt and grass.  Iphicles, however, falls behind.

Bingo!  What I've been hoping for! I pull up beside him.  "How's it going?"

"I saw what you did with Dioclus," he says, keeping his eyes straight ahead.  "Did you find anything?"

"He's clean."  A drop of water hits my cheek as it starts to rain.  Why is he so uptight? There's no one around...Maybe he didn't stop me because he's the one that I've been fucking.  Maybe he only wants to know about Dioclus.  Maybe he's just being a good king...

"Shit.  That means the spy's someone else.  Can you stay on and find him?"  This time he does turn to me.  His amber eyes are still shadowed, face a bit pale, like he's stayed up late, either worrying or being fucked by me.  A cloud bursts, and water pours from the heavens.   As his hair dampens, it starts to look like it did last night...My cock is now doing the macarena.  But it's wasted on this guy.  I was right all along--he's just not interested in me, for some strange--

"I want you," he says abruptly, then gallops away into the woods.

I nearly fall off my horse.   It was him all along.  I take off after him, feeling a surge of tremendous excitement.  Ok, maybe on some level I'm a bit disappointed it's Iphicles and not Ares.  I like the idea of dominating the god of war.  But I'm also relieved.  Ares is too scary.  Even if he could ever be submissive, it wouldn't last long.  He'd be blasting my ass for something trivial.  The violence is inevitable. Better to have the beautiful king with his split personality, his full, hot lips around my cock... Now where exactly is he?

Entering the dark forest, I'm protected at once from the downpour by the cover of tall trees.  As I look for Iphicles, the smell of dead leaves and pine needles rises from the narrow path.  Then off to the right, near the rocky wall of a cliff, I see his horse.  Riding up beside it, I jump down, tying my animal near his.  So where the hell is the king?  I need to fuck him.  This game of hide-and- seek is getting me so hot...

That's when I notice the cave, nearly hidden behind a few wild pear trees.  Heavy footprints show clearly in the marshy earth under my feet and they vanish at the cave's entrance.  He's in there, waiting for me.  I don't know what's pounding harder: my heart or my cock.  Taking a deep breath, I step into blackness.

I stand in the quiet dark, inhaling the arid warm air, waiting for my eyes to adjust.  Then I notice a light in the distance, and I move down a narrow passage.  I keep my hand tucked low, in case of bats.  I don't like bats.  Shortly, I reach a natural chamber...There are candles in sconces, a bed, a wooden table and chair.  Wine, glasses and a few other bottles line a rough-hewn shelf over the cot.

Iphicles stands at the table, watching me, one hand resting on the polished wood.  "Jason told me about this place when I became king.  He used to meet Alcmene here.  It's supposed to be the cave where Aeneas and Dido sheltered during the storm.  It's where I come to be alone."

"And where you take your lovers."

"Sometimes.  Does that bother you?"

"No."  Yes.

Still staring at me, he undoes the gold clasp at his throat, removing the cloak and tossing it on the chair's laddered back.  His brown tunic follows, then the white shirt.  He sits down and pulls off his black riding boots, then struggles out of his leather pants.   Naked, he stands there, waiting for me.

I can't move.  His body still stuns me: every muscle is defined and ready to burst.  I won't even mention his cock because it'll be poetry time again.  When I can breathe, I undress quickly.  "Come here," I tell him, when my clothes are on the ground.

Iphicles walks over to me, his feet making no sound on the smooth stone floor.  How can someone that big move so quietly? He pauses in front of me and speaks in that ‘fuck me long, fuck me hard' voice.  "You know what I want, don't you?"  It's more a statement than a question.

I do know.  He's already falling to his knees in front of me; I don't even have to push him down.  With one hand Iphicles takes my cock by the base, while the other reaches around to grab my ass.  He's licking the head, tongue circling, while I stroke his rain-damp curls.  Taking the engorged tip in his mouth, the king sucks it, his soft/hard tongue never stopping.  My cock keeps growing and growing until I'm harder than I've ever been.  Something about the cave, the submissive king, and those full  lips... "Take it all in your mouth," I order, and he does.  His fingers are now on my balls, stroking them lightly, teasingly, while my cock drowns in the wetness of his mouth.

When I moan, the sound echoes in the rocky chamber.  Iphicles responds to my excitement:  his tongue works furiously now, his head races back and forth over my shaft, loose curls brushing my inner thighs.  It's like he's desperate for me--and that makes me even harder.  He then increases the pressure until I'm ready to explode, but I pull out and hurriedly find the small flask in my pouch on the floor.  Coating my cock, I step behind him,.  His back and ass glow gold in the candlelight, and I'm so excited that I push my cock into him in one smooth stroke.  Then I fuck him hard--like Ares did to me in my dream. As hard as I can, just shoving myself into his tight ass over and over until he's panting, until my name is bouncing off the stone walls.

His heavy cock's in my hand, and I start to pump it harshly--it seems to swell, and he's almost shouting now, ass contracting around me....I think I'm going to die it feels so good he's so good oh sweet Ares it's good....

I'm not sure who came first--suddenly we were both shuddering out our orgasms.  All I know is that it was intense, and that maybe I am a little bit in love with him.

When Iphicles stands,  cum trickles from his ass, running down the backs of his hard thighs.  He doesn't wipe it up--just pulls his pants over the wetness.  I love the idea that he'll be walking around with my semen dripping out of him.  I already want him again, even though my body's still shaking and I feel almost weak.  Lying down on the cot in the corner, I watch him get dressed.

"I wanted you that first day," he says, extending one long leg to tug on a boot.  The action stretches the leather tight around his balls and cock.  "You walked into that meeting room, and gave me that blatant ‘I wanna fuck you' look.  It was so fucking brazen--you didn't care if Celeus or Xanthus saw you.  Everyone's so careful around me, always kissing my ass, lying to me.  They're all backstabbing bastards."  He stood up, wearing only the tight leathers pants and the high black boots.

"I'd like to kiss your ass," I say.  Then, patting the lumpy mattress: "Why don't you come here and I'll show you?"

He laughs.  "You don't know how much I'd like that.  But I have to get back.  They'll be looking for me soon.  I don't need the hassle of explaining this.  This spy shit is already enough of a headache--I don't need the whole court speculating about who I'm fucking.  Do you know what it's like when dozens of people are watching your every move?"

"Actually, yes," I reply, raising my eyebrows, and he laughs again.  My cock is already stirring again.  He needs to put a shirt on--that leather pant-boot combo is making me crazy.  It doesn't help that his nipples are tight, even in the cavern's dry air, or that his curls are rumpled from my hands.

"You're very...charming," Iphicles says with a smile, as he slips his shirt over his head.

I laugh.  "So they tell me."

"I wish I didn't have to leave."  He walks over to the bed, bending down to kiss me.  My arms go up, and I pull him down on top of me.  His mouth opens under my tongue, and he doesn't resist when I roll him onto his back, or when I raise his shirt to suck his nipples.  His head goes back and he arches into me, his thick cock digging into mine.  I grab his wrists, pinning him down, and kiss him again, harder this time, until he's stroking my bare back, squeezing my ass.

Then he sits up, breathing hard.  The candlelight casts shadows on his face.  "I have to go.  You don't know how much I want to stay, but I have to go.  I have responsibilities."

I place my hand over his erection.  "I can tell how much you want to stay."   The king groans when I rub it through the leather, then his teeth sink into that full lower lip.

"I've got to get back," he says reluctantly, giving me that sleepy-eyed look that makes my cock do push-ups.  "But I'll see you tonight."   He kisses me again, then leaves.

I consider jerking off, but decide to save it for later.  Save it for him.

***

I walk from the cave into the sun.  In the distance, the dogs are barking and the horns sounding.  The hunt's resumed.  That means the palace will be quiet, and I can catch a little shut-eye before tonight.

As I leave the forest, the horse's hooves make a pleasant clack-clack-clack, relaxing me.  In the distance, by the river, I can see the hunting party.  Iphicles has rejoined them--his hair is unmistakable, and his size.  Even from here he's impressive.  I can't wait to get him back in bed--I need to feel his lips around my cock, I need that soft skin sliding over the head...Nightfall can't come soon enough.

With the horse safely in the stables, I try not to skip through the bronze doors of the palace, up the stairs, and down the hallway to my room.  Even when I see the Gorgon from this morning, snout already aquiver, carrying fresh towels in her huge hamhands, I smile and tip an imaginary hat at her.  She scowls at me, drawing her thick, black, eyebrow down over her jutting nose, and mumbles something about people always being underfoot.  But even she can't spoil my mood.

I bounce past her, and open my door.

There, lying naked on my bed, is Iphicles.  His cock is hard, and he's lazily stroking the head, smearing the drops that form into his bronzed skin. "Unless you want the maid to see me, you'd better shut it," he says, grinning.

"What are you doing here?" I ask stupidly.  "How'd you get here before me? It's not possible.  Not that I'm not glad--"

"The hunt was boring.  I missed you, so I made up an excuse and left."  His fingers trail more quickly over his perfect cock.  "Last night was so incredible--I couldn't get it out of my mind.  I got hard every time I pictured your mouth on me, when I remembered how you fucked me..."

"But what about this afternoon?"  I'm still not getting it.

"What do you mean?"

And then I understand.  Then I know.  This isn't Iphicles--this is Ares.  And he doesn't know what I was doing an hour ago.  Holy shit.  I can't believe this is happening.

He can tell from my expression that something's wrong.  I see the flash of black in his amber eyes again, as he repeats his question.  The timber of his voice changes, too--there's violence  now.  "What do you mean about this afternoon, Autolycus?  We weren't together this afternoon."

For once in my life, I don't know what to say.  And in my silence, he has his answer.

Iphicles begins to change.  His curls darken; the beard grows in; the black leather and silver jewelry return.   An enormous sword hangs from his hip.  Perfect for decapitating thieves who've just cheated on you.  Even if they didn't know they cheated on you, because you've been lying to them from the beginning, using them for Zeus only knows what perverted reasons...

Ares walks toward me.  Why does he seem about a foot taller than Iphicles? And why did I ever think that he and the king look anything alike?  The menace shooting off him is making me cringe, especially when he assumes the classic wargod pose: legs slightly spread, cock thrust forward, huge arms folded over massive chest.  The ‘I'm bad and you better not fuck with me' pose, designed to strike terror (and lust) into the hearts of anyone who sees him.  I'm no exception.

My eyes dart around the room, as I look desperately for an escape route.  I know I seem  like a cornered rat, but it doesn't matter--I AM a cornered rat, about to be eaten by a big, bad cat in tight black leather.  "I don't know what the hell you're so mad about."  When in doubt, go with bravado.  "So I fucked Iphicles.  I thought that I was fucking *you.* That is, I didn't know it was you, I thought you were him, and then I fucked him but it really was him, but I didn't know--"

"You didn't know? You mean you can't tell the difference between some whiny king and the god of war?"  Clearly, he's not amused.

"No offense, Ares, but you've been doing a fair bit of whining yourself lately: ‘Everyone's scared of me;  no one likes me. Please fuck me.'"

I think he's going to kill me.  He draws that huge sword and points it at my throat.  "I whined?"  Sparks shoot from his eyes.  Or maybe it's just the sun's reflection off the silver studs on his vest.

"Maybe ‘whined' isn't the best term...Bad choice of words.  Very bad.  Why don't you put the sword down, and let me explain?"

"Shut up, mortal.  Another word, and I'll cut out your heart."  His voice is nearly a growl.

I shut up.  The god leans forward, tapping the edge of the silver blade against my chest. I think he's going to follow through on his threat--then he uses the tip of the weapon to cut through my shirt, pushing it off my shoulders.  "What do you think you're doing?" I ask.  I know I sound like a horrified virgin, but he's very scary.

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?  I'm going to show you the difference between fucking a mortal and fucking a god."

I'm trying not to cower.  "Does fucking a god involve violence of any kind?"

He laughs, only there's no mirth.  "I haven't hurt you yet, Autolycus.  But this time--this time will be different."

Oh great.  Just great.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not into pain.  Giving a little, maybe, but definitely not getting it.

The knock on the door startles us both.  For a second, relief washes over me.  Maybe it's the Gorgon bringing me fresh towels.  Hell, she could probably kick Ares' ass.  It's not the Gorgon, of course.  It's Iphicles.

"Open the door, Autolycus.  I have to talk to you."  Muffled, he sounds exactly like Ares.  This is all very confusing...

"So your kingly boyfriend is here to visit. Isn't that sweet.  I should kill him now."  He's running a finger along the sharp blade and his skin splits open.  Absently, he licks up the blood.

I try to pretend that the gesture's not unbearably arousing, in a bone-chilling kinda way.  "Ares, I don't mean to be rude, but...What the hell is your problem? What do you care who I sleep with?" The glare he gives me shrivels my cock.  Well, in theory, anyway.

"Because you've insulted me," he hisses in my face.  He smells so good.  Must be the ambrosia.  And the sweaty leather. "Let him in," Ares orders.  "I'm going to watch you fuck your king.  I want to see what he does."

"Ares, the sex I had with you was incredible--"

The sword presses against my throat.  I gulp.  "Let him in, Autolycus, I'll be watching you the whole time.  He won't be able to see me, but you will.  I want to see how you react to this mortal."

I can't decide if that's the sexiest image in the world, or the most terrifying.  A bit of both, I think.  Ares sits on the edge of the bed, extending his long legs.  I try not to stare between those firm thighs, at the bulge of his cock against the leather.  He's so huge it's hard to tell if he's got a hard-on or not...The slick leather's catching the afternoon light, obscuring things...

"Stop staring at my cock, Autolycus, and get the door," he says impatiently, tossing his curls.  "Now, before I slice you open."

I do.

Iphicles walks in, slams the door, and stares at me.  His cheeks are flushed and he's breathing heavily.  He hasn't changed from the hunt--I try not to picture the semen that must be dry on his thighs, how it would taste, how he'd taste...

"I need you now," he says.  "I thought I could walk away, but I was wrong.  I can't stop thinking about that final kiss in the cave."

I want to grab him, throw him down on the bed.  But I'm so self-conscious with Ares sitting there watching, especially when I hear his derisive snort at Iphicles' words.  Ok, so maybe my cock is ripping a hole through my pants.  But still...

This is going to be a long afternoon.  I mean, Iphicles is here, begging me to fuck him.  But how can I do it with Ares taking notes to see if I respond differently to the king?  How in Hades do I get myself into these situations?  If only I weren't so damned irresistible ...

"He wants you to kiss him, Autolycus," the god whispers hotly in my ear.  "Do it. Just remember that I'm watching everything.  Every touch, every thrust..."  He trails off, muttering something about stupid mortals who can't tell the differences between gods and kings.

I'm scared.  I admit it.  Ares is very, very big.  And the combination of black leather, sharp sword and scary jewelry is pretty terrifying.  Hmmm...Apparently terror gives me a raging hard-on.

Or maybe it's the thought of fucking Iphicles while the god looks on.  As long as Ares doesn't hurt me, this could, in theory, be exciting.  Especially if he manages to get over his jealousy long enough to join in--

"I'm not jealous, Autolycus," Ares says darkly.  "Now stop fantasizing and start acting."

I jump.  Shit. Forgot he could do that mind-reading thing.

"Autolycus, is there something wrong?" The king  looks concerned, almost embarrassed, running his fingers through his hair.

He probably thinks I'm crazy, staring at the bed with my mouth hanging open...

Iphicles continues. "I didn't misread this, did I? I thought that what we did in the cave earlier meant something..."  He trails off.  "Maybe I should go."

"No."  I pull the king to me, breathing in the scent of cum and horse and leather.  Incredible.  I slowly rub my cock against him, letting him feel what he does to me.  "The cave--" I glance over at Ares, who's watching impassively, "it mattered."  When lightening doesn't strike me dead, I kiss Iphicles.  And kiss him...and kiss him...

I can't stop.  His mouth, open beneath mine, is sweet and hot, and his tongue, the same tongue that curled around my cock only a few hours ago, tries to meld with mine.  His hands are squeezing my ass, while his cock, now rock-hard, grinds against my equally stiff one.

"Does he taste good, Autolycus?  Better than me?"

Holy Hades...He's right behind me, one hand on the back of my neck.  "You taste fantastic," I tell them both, as I draw back slightly.

Iphicles smiles.  "So do you.  Every part of you.  I loved sucking your cock.  I want to do it again."

He's about to drop to his knees, but I catch his arm.  "Take your clothes off first."

Ares takes advantage of Iphicles' new position to move even closer to me, pressing his massive cock against my ass.  His lips are at my ear, and his warm breath makes me shiver.  Reaching around, he places his hand over my erection.  "You like the way he sucks your cock?  I didn't hear any complaints when you shoved your cock in my mouth last night."

I'm trying hard not to rub back against him, or thrust my cock into his hand.  Humping the air might confuse Iphicles, and I just want him to keep exposing more and more of that muscular, tanned skin as he takes his clothes off.  He throws his cloak on the floor, and his shirt goes flying after it, landing with a soft thud.

"That's enough," I tell him.  "I like the way you look with just the pants and the boots."  Do I ever...My cock jerks under Ares' fingers.

Standing right before me, Iphicles pulls my shirt over my head.  The god takes his hand from my cock just as the king reaches out to tug off my pants.  Ares remains behind me, however, and steps back into position once the offending material is gone.  I can't stop the moan when I realize that the god's now naked, too, and that his bare cock is pressing against my bare ass.

Fortunately, Iphicles chooses that moment to lick the head of my cock, so no explanation for my moaning and tensing is required.  Ares moves even closer to peer down over my shoulder, and we both watch the king's tongue as it traces a blue vein pulsing along my shaft.

"Doesn't he know you like the head of your cock licked in circles? You came a fucking river when I did it to you the other night."  He starts to rock gently against my ass.  Every time he moves forward, the oiled tip of his cock almost enters me.  "I know what turns you on."

I can't argue with that.  But Iphicles isn't doing too badly.  I love the way Ares' gentle thrusts are propelling me forward, so that the head of my cock brushes against the back of the king's throat.  Gods.  The only thing that keeps me from cumming is the weird idea that I'm cheating on someone here.  I just can't decide who....

"That feels too good..."  I'm trying to catch my breath, fighting to stay in control.  Misplaced guilt or not, I don't want this to end.  When Ares actually penetrates me, though, I lose it, and cum in Iphicles' mouth.  I grasp the king's curls and hold his head in place while he drinks my semen.  Behind me, the god remains still, allowing me to feel the thick head of his cock stretching my ass.

"You've never tied him up," Ares whispers.  "Only me.  I want you to tie him up and suck him."

Iphicles stands, and the sight of him in those skin-tight pants and high boots,  lips slightly swollen from the blowjob, makes my cock twitch again.  Ares pulls out of me, and I push the king until he's against the edge of the bed.  When he falls back, I grab the heel of his left boot and yank it off, dropping it to the floor.  I do the same to his other one, then grab his pants at the waist and tear them from his long legs.  He raises his hips to help me, and breathes a sigh of relief when his cock springs free from the confining leather.  So do I.

"What're you gonna to do to me?" Iphicles asks, grinning.  He moves up the bed, lying back against the pillows, raising his arms above his head.  The action highlights his biceps, and my cock stirs again.

I almost jump when Ares stands behind me again, licking my ear.  "Get the ropes."

Quickly, I go to the chest, pulling them out.  "I want you completely under my power," I tell Iphicles.  If it turns Ares on, I figure it'll work for the king.  It does.

His amber eyes glow, just before he closes them, and he runs his pink tongue over his lips.  "Yes. Do it."  He hesitates a moment, then adds, "Dominate me."

The words push me to a full-fledged erection, and I hurriedly bind his arms to the bedposts, tying him securely.

"Blindfold him," Ares orders, appearing suddenly at my side.

The idea disturbs me, but turns me on at the same time.  Picking up my discarded shirt, I rip the silky blue fabric until I have a strip long enough.  Iphicles' eyes never leave me, but he's chewing on his lower lip and since that's what Ares does when he's about to cum, I figure the king's ok with the idea.

As I tie the piece of cloth around his eyes, I soothe any anxiety he might be feeling.  "I want you to focus on the pleasure."

His lips part in a moan, and I can't resist sliding my tongue into his mouth.  I have to admit the sight of that gorgeous body so helpless on the bed is getting me harder than I think I've ever been.  Gods, he tastes so good...

"That's enough, Autolycus," the god says sternly.

I'd almost forgotten about him.  I turn toward the foot of the bed, where Ares stands, his bronzed body caught in the late-afternoon sunlight streaming in through the window.  His huge cock rests against his stomach, bouncing attractively as the god walks to my side.

Ares pulls my face forward, and, after a slight pause, I take him in my mouth.  I'm not sure where the indecision comes from.  Ares is beautiful.  Plus, it's not like Iphicles and I are in a committed relationship...And it's not like Ares' cock doesn't taste unbelievably good...If only the god of war wasn't a demented psychopath.

I reach behind me, squeezing one of the blindfolded king's nipples while I lick the head of Ares' cock.  The god's rougher now that he's not playing Iphicles: he grabs my hair and guides me back and forth over his cock.  Glancing up at him, I'm surprised to see how far gone he is: head tilted back, eyes closed, lips parted...

Like he senses me watching him, his head snaps forward, and he fixes that black gaze on me. I get the weird sense that he's embarrassed ‘cause I caught him like that.  This guy really confuses me. God.  Whatever.

"Now suck his," he commands thickly.

I move back to Iphicles, positioning myself between his thighs.  As I bend to take the king's cock in my mouth, Ares climbs on the bed behind me.  He's doing some god-thing so that Iphicles can't feel his weight shifting the mattress--but I can feel him alright.  His cock's back against my ass, not quite penetrating me, and he's licking my shoulder blade.  I push back, trying to force him inside me, but Ares just laughs.

Ok, he wants to torture me.  Fine.  At least he's put his sword away and doesn't seem about to kill me... Ohhhhh gods that feels good...The head of his cock's almost, almost in my ass.  Almost.  Gotta focus here.  I decide to tease Iphicles the way that bastard Ares is teasing me, so I suck the head of his cock, then it's stop/suck/stop/suck/stop/suck until the king's groaning up a storm.

"Take it all the way in," he pleads, raising his hips as high as he can.  "I need to feel your mouth around my cock."

"Do it."  I nearly jump at the deep voice rumbling against my back.  "Suck him while I fuck you.  But remember--it's my cock inside you.  He can't do what I can for you."

He's got a point...

Ares is holding my hips and slowly--so slowly--pushing himself inside me.  He's breathing so loud it's hard to believe Iphicles can't hear him.  Mind you--the king's doing some pretty heavy breathing of his own right now, as his cock slides into my mouth.  And me--hell, I'm not breathing at all...I can't.  Not while the god's fucking me like this, hitting sensitive spots I never even knew I had...

I let the momentum from the god's thrusts propel me back and forth over Iphicles' cock.  The king doesn't seem to mind--he gets even harder in my mouth.  And when Ares reaches in front of me to grab my cock, and starts to jerk me off as roughly and quickly as he's fucking me, things start to get a little hazy.  For all of us.

"I'm going to cum," they moan together.

Me too.  My body's quivering--it's like my bones have melted under this incredible heat.  Because Ares is so fucking hot behind me, in me.  His wet chest is pressing against my wet back while he pounds into my ass, while he pumps my cock.

Then he's cumming...Burst after burst of scorching wetness inside me...And I'm cumming, and so is Iphicles...I swallow and swallow, trying not to bite down because I'm so fucking excited and my body's on fire...

"That was incredible," the king says.  "But..."

"He wants to fuck you."

Iphicles unknowingly echoes the god. "I want to fuck you."

"Uhhhhhhhh..."

"Let him, Autolycus.  Let him tie you up and fuck you, so I can watch you react to his cock inside you."

"Ok."  I untie Iphicles, take the blindfold off.  He blinks in the light, then pulls me down for a kiss.  Behind me, Ares growls at my enthusiastic response.  I stop, but make a pointed comment to the god.  "It's nice to have a lover who kisses, instead of threatening to cut my heart out."

All of a sudden I'm off the bed, just out of sight behind the drawn bed curtain, while Ares' tongue tangos with mine.  I have to stand on my toes to reach him, but it's worth it.  His lips are soft and sweet and full as the king's, although the kiss is more aggressive.  Like he's trying to make a point.  And baby, let me tell you--he's making it pretty damn well.  He's still naked, and his huge cock rubs against mine while his tongue strokes my tonsils.

"Autolycus?" Iphicles calls.  "Uh--are you ok?"

"Mmmmmmm..."  I'm not really paying attention.  But when he speak again, every muscles in my body snaps tight.

"He's with you, isn't he?"

With a lot of effort, I push Ares away and peer past the curtain at Iphicles.  "What...do you mean?"  For once in my life, I can't think of something clever to say.

"That fucking bastard!  I should've known he'd pull something like this.  He's just using you to get back at me."

I should've known.  Everything I felt from Ares was just wishful thinking. Fuck.  So I'm disappointed.  It's not that bad.  Really.  I'm not crushed. Not devastated.  "Wh...Why?"

The king sighed.  "You know how I've been worried about this Megaran spy? Well, I told *him* that I needed some time alone.  We fought, and he took off.  Fucking you with me right here is just so typical of him."

I feel so...cheap.  And, just between us--ok, maybe I feel a little hurt.  Maybe more than a little.  I thought that he and I...Well, it doesn't matter.  The anger's taking over now, and I don't care if Ares skewers my balls for what I'm going to say.  "You're right--it's so fucking typical of him!"  I turn back and give the wargod a dirty look, trying to ignore how sexy he looks all naked and hard.  He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, turning back to Iphicles.  "He's such a selfish bastard. D'you know that he's been fucking me while pretending to be you?"

There's a long pause.  Then the king laughs.  "Actually, that's kind of funny.  He does have a great sense of humor.  That's one of the things I like the most about him. Liked," he adds, although it's obvious that he still has a thing for him.

Not, in all honesty, that I really blame him.  Ares is pretty devastating--Hold on!  Wait a second! Sense of humor? What sense of humor? The god may have a lot of things, but I haven't really noticed a sense of humor.  "You like Ares' sense of humor?"

"Ares?  What're you talking about? I've never slept with Ares!  Who in their right minds would take the chance of sleeping with Ares? He's the god of war!"

Behind me, Ares laughs.

I'm confused.  Very, very confused.  "You're not talking about Ares?"

"Of course not! I'm talking about Cupid!"  Iphicles looks at me like I've just grown a second head.

I'm so relieved I collapse beside him on the bed.  Ares walks closer, standing in front of me, a big grin on his face.  I think my reaction's pleased him.

"I'm not interested in Iphicles," the god says.  "Too whiny for my tastes.  My interest lies...elsewhere."

The king's looking nervously over my shoulder. "Are you saying Ares is here?  You've been fucking Ares?"

"Oh yeah.  Ohhhhhhhh yeah."

"Then Cupid's not here?"  Iphicles tries to hide his disappointment.

"Actually...."Ares says.  His hand moves, like he's giving someone a little shove forward.  Then I see Cupid, looking embarrassed.

I glance over at Iphicles.  He can obviously see both gods, although he doesn't stare at Ares as long as you'd expect, given that the war god's still completely naked.

"Hi, Iphicles," Cupid says.  He smiles at me, but his dark eyes are drinking in the king's body.

The king pretends to be angry, but I sense his excitement.  Well, maybe ‘sense' isn't the right word--his hardening cock is announcing to everyone just how happy he is to see the winged god.

All of the naked flesh in the room's getting me pretty hot, especially Ares'.  "So what do we do now?" I ask.

"What did you have in mind, Autolycus?" The war god stares down at my cock, then back up at my face.  Like he doesn't know...

"Well, since we're all friends here...mostly...and everyone's naked except Cupid, but those pants are so tight they don't really count...." I trail off, stroking my beard and waggling my eyebrows suggestively.

"Sounds good to me," Cupid says.  His wings flutter slightly, then his pants disappear and I'm staring at a very nice cock.  It's not Ares', but it's very nice.  "Iphicles?"

The king's eyeing the war god a little warily.  "I'm not sure," he admits.

It makes sense.   A guy who's attracted to Cupid's gonna find Ares a little intimidating.  But it gives me an idea.  "How ‘bout if Ares is tied up?"

"If he doesn't mind..."

We all turn eagerly to Ares.  He looks at me.  "Is that what you want?"

"Yes."    Pleasepleaseplease.

He climbs onto the bed, then lies on his back, extending his arms above his head.  "Cupid?"

Like the rest of us, Cupid's a little distracted by the sight of the war god.  I thought that Iphicles looked good like this, but Ares...Oh momma. The position makes every muscle in his arms bulge--and he has a lot of muscles.  His bronze skin's gleaming, still damp from fucking me.  No one walking into the room right now would mistake him for anything but a god.  He's too powerful.  Beautiful. And that cock...Cupid's not exactly tiny, but Ares' cock...It's huge.

I'm glad this is going to happen in the light--I want to see everything.

The winged god's coming out of his reverie.  A pair of gold manacles appears in his hand, and he places them over Ares' wrists, then fastens them securely to the headboard.

"Hephaestus made ‘em.  You're not going anywhere, Ares," Cupid says with a smile.

"There are other ways to convince me to stay," the dark god replies, thrusting his hips forward to show us his hard cock.

"I hear ya." Cupid's already on my hands and knees, crawling toward him.  He positions himself against the god's left side.  "Iphicles, help me."

I step back and watch.  Now, I'm experienced.  I've been around.  But I've never seen two guys suck the cock of a third.  And these aren't just three guys: two gorgeous gods, and a beautiful king.  I think I've just died and gone to voyeur-heaven.

Cupid's got Ares' cock in his hand, and he's licking the head clean.  Iphicles, lying on the dark god's other side, watches him.  Reaching out, he strokes his lover's cheek, then runs his fingers along Cupid's jaw, then lower, until they brush Ares' shaft.  The young god gives a final lick, then pushes his uncle's cock toward Iphicles' mouth.

When the king's tongue slides over the wet surface, Ares groans.  So do I.  And I realize that my hand's closed tight around my own cock--I'm getting off seeing my god sucked by these two.  I know that they're preparing him for me, and that makes me almost woozy with lust.

Iphicles is starting to get into the blowjob--he's sucking harder now, while he takes Cupid's cock in his free hand, massaging the head with his thumb.  The winged god leans closer, and their tongues meet on Ares' swollen cock.  They're kissing and licking him at the same time, and I swear that my cock is going to burst into a million pieces.  Especially when I see Ares staring at me, cheeks flushed, tongue sliding over his lips.

"Come closer," he commands.  "Help them.  Then fuck me."

I move between his legs, and then the three of us are licking his thick cock.  It's so wet now, leaking continuously.  I can taste him on Iphicles' tongue, on Cupid's...and on the hard source itself.

When I'm finished, I hold it toward Iphicles, who laps at it, then over to Cupid, who deep-throats it.  I put one of my fingers into Iphicles' mouth, letting him wet it.  Once it's slick, I use my knees to open Ares' thighs.  As he raises his hips, I ease my finger slowly inside him.

His dark eyes stay on me the whole time.  I can barely focus, though, since Iphicles has my cock in one hand and Ares' in another, and he's moving his hot tongue back and forth over us.  Cupid kneels beside the other god, taking one tanned nipple between his teeth.

"Fuck me," Ares growls.

I shake my head.  "Not yet."  I want him to beg.  He did it as Iphicles, and it turned him on.  Nothing's changed--except that if I can make Ares, god of war, beg me to fuck him, I just might spontaneously combust.   They'll have to scrape the king of thieves off the ceiling. But it'll be worth it.

And it's going to happen.  He's already panting, rocking himself against my finger, while his cock is huge and red from the constant attention of tongues and teeth.  Sweat trickles down his chest; Cupid occasionally leaves Ares' nipple long enough to lap up a few drops.

"Suck him harder," I order the king, gently pushing his head down over the war god's cock.  "Oil."  A vial appears in my hand, and I pull my finger from the god to break the wax seal before smearing the clear, woodsy smelling liquid along my shaft, over the engorged head.

Meanwhile, Cupid has moved around to the other side of the bed.  He pushes Iphicles back against the headboard, so that he's lying right beside Ares.  In a flash, the king's arms are bound above his head.  The winged god takes the vial from me, and pours the fragrant oil onto his cock while Iphicles watches in anticipation.

Then I concentrate on Ares' lust-flushed face.  "Tell me you want it."

"You know I want it," he moans.

"Tell me."  To encourage him, I position myself between his thighs, and push the head of my cock against his ass, just like he did to me earlier.  Not quite inside him, but almost.  Holy Hades...He'd better start begging--I'm sweating from every pore in my body trying to hold back here.  It almost hurts not to fuck him.

I almost cry with relief when he gives in.  Cry, cum...Something like that.

His deep voice is almost hoarse with desire.  "I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me.  Hard.  Like you did those other times. But this time--do it because it's me."

I throw my body forward, driving my cock into his ass, making him gasp.  Then I start pounding into him, holding onto one of his thighs while I grab his cock.  I can hear groans and the soft slap of flesh against flesh beside me, but I don't care.  Only he matters.  Ares.

He's so hot and tight around me, and his cock is throbbing in my hand.  I'm fucking the god, fucking him as hard as I can. Wow.  But I'm ramming into him like this not just to get off, not just so I can cum inside him, but because I want to see his face when he loses control.  I need that.

And Ares is so close now....thrusting up to meet me, body slick with sweat as he strains against the handcuffs binding his wrists...He's letting out this low purring growling sound--I can feel it vibrating through me...We're both shaking...I hear shouts...the two beside me...my voice adding to theirs...So hot...

When the war god throws back his dark head, crying my name, and his cum heats my hand, I'm literally dazzled with pleasure.  I see stars as my cock explodes inside him. I'd find it pretty cool if I could speak or think.  But I can't.

Because it's Ares, after all.

***

I'm lying against Ares' broad chest, listening to his heart.  Cupid and Iphicles are tangled up beside us.  Life, as they say, is good.  But I'm still confused over one point.  "There's something I don't get."

Iphicles looks at me with sleepy eyes.  "What's that?"

"If you've been boinking Cupid, he could've told you who the spy at your court is.  Why didn't he?"

The blond head doesn't even raise.  "Didn't like my interfering.  Wanted to find out on his own. .  Fought over it with me. He won."

"Ok, that makes sense.  But that still doesn't explain who the spy is.  It's not  Dioclus, the fun- loving ambassador from Argos.  I checked him out.  Ah ha!! I bet it's that little blond weasel-- Celeus.  Iphicles' advisor."  I'm very pleased with my brilliant deduction.  "After all, who else could it be?  Who'd have access to all of the rooms? Who could pass undetected, going without suspicion from chamber to chamber in Iphicles' palace?"

That's when I hear the knock at the door.  It's my nemesis: the pig-snouted maid.   "Go away!" I shout, when she tries to get in.  "We're busy!"

Suddenly, Iphicles and I look at each other.  "Shit!"

We both jump to our feet, and speed to the door.

Sometimes the answer's staring you right in the face.

***

Epilogue

Later, I remember that bit of wisdom . About the answer being right in front of you the whole time.  I'd missed the abrasive maid because she was so obvious.  Just like I'd missed the fact that I've wanted Ares since he fucked me in that bar a few months ago.  That I couldn't stop thinking about him because...well, you know.  Love and all that stuff.

Iphicles was just a substitute.  He's not offended, though.  The king and Cupid are back together, and happier than ever.

As for Ares...

Well, let's just say that he's hanging around a lot these days.  Oh, he won't admit that he's in love with me.  It's Ares, after all.  But the last time we fucked, when we were curled up together, he looked down at me with those black eyes, and smiled.

"You know, Autolycus, you're not half bad."

I can live with that.

The End